


Scar Tissue

by blackmariahlee



Series: The Serpent and the Lion [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Battle of Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:06:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackmariahlee/pseuds/blackmariahlee
Summary: Harry Potter has some difficult choices to make. Does he return to Hogwarts and finish school? Does he accept a position training to be an elite Auror? Does he disappear into the woods never to be seen or heard from again? Does he simply refuse to leave this bed or the beautiful man in it ever again? Unfortunately, not every choice is a valid one.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: The Serpent and the Lion [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538254
Comments: 9
Kudos: 113





	Scar Tissue

**Author's Note:**

> First, let me apologize about the gap between updates. The holiday season kicked my sorry ass this year. But I finally managed to finish this. Second, this is part of a series and won't really make much sense without the other installments to add context. Third, thank you all so much for reading!

Harry Potter sighed as he scrubbed a hand over his face. He had hardly slept at all and he was tired of the charade of trying. And also, just so damn tired. Even with Draco sleeping beside him, his mind wouldn’t quiet down enough for him to drift off. There were just too many things to think about. Way too many things. And he didn’t dare try to solve his every problem in the daylight hours. Some of his thoughts were too dark to think, let alone say in the too bright sun. 

He quietly slid out from under the sheets, doing his best not to disturb Draco. Only one of his many problems. And potential solution to so many more. His sleeping companion looked so peaceful in his sleep. Peaceful in a way he never looked when he was awake. And beautiful. Always so fucking beautiful it wasn’t fair. Inside and out. How had they both been so wrong about the other for so long? Harry ached at the lost years of their childhood. 

Harry padded quietly over to the armchair sat in front of the fire. Just yesterday his life had almost seemed like it could be normal. He should have known better. He and Ginny were officially  _ officially _ over, Draco and Hermione were friends, his adopted family had accepted him for being bi, he and Draco were...something, Ron was not okay with that, and Kingsley Shacklebolt had offered him a position to train with the Aurors. And this was all without mentioning his discussion with Draco about the damn Dursleys last night. 

Unfortunately, Draco was right. He shouldn’t have been surprised about that. Just because he was out of Privet Drive and would never have to see any of them again didn’t mean that the last sixteen years had never happened. He would always carry that with him. There would always be a part of him that was that small, scared child curled up alone in a cupboard under the stairs wanting to be loved and accepted. No matter how much he hated it and wanted to ignore it and deny it, it was true. His family’s treatment of him had left a mark as surely as his mother’s sacrifice had. As surely as Voldemort’s curses had. 

And Draco had held him as he cried. He had whispered soft, comforting words. Wiped his tears away and kissed him gently. Wrapped him up in his arms and held him tight. His chest ached just thinking about it. Harry had never truly realized how badly he needed those simple comforts until now. He had never realized how much it had affected him that nobody had hugged him for the first 12 years of his life. Nobody had held his hand and squeezed in gentle reassurance. Nobody had climbed into bed with him to hold him or read him stories. The tears fell silently this time and Harry wiped them away roughly. 

In the few weeks since he and Draco had started spending so much time together, he had given Harry so much. It was staggering to think that someone like Draco would want to waste time with someone like him. Draco had reassured Harry and they had both scoffed at Ron’s insistence that Draco was using him. But now that the thought was in his head, it was hard to shake. Draco seemed to truly care about him but then, so had Dumbledore. And his headmaster hadn’t thought twice about sacrificing Harry for the greater good. Why should someone like Draco Malfoy bat an eye at trading sexual favors and a shoulder to cry on in exchange for getting out of a life sentence to Azkaban?

Harry shook his head. Regardless of his motives, Draco had been a rock for Harry in the last few weeks. And he didn’t deserve to go to Azkaban. He had already told Draco that he would do his best to make sure that he and his mother escaped such a fate. And he resolved that he would do everything in his power to make sure that they were able to run away to France. After all, Harry did owe both of them his life. And Draco a few times over. He didn’t know how he would have coped without him these last few weeks. 

Surely, his testimony to that effect would be enough. But was there anything more he could do ? Harry sighed and pulled his feet up onto the chair, resting his chin on his knees. After a moment, he groaned quietly and put his head between his knees. Of course, there was more that he could do. He could accept Kingsley’s offer. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One,  Saviour of the Wizarding World speaking on behalf of the Malfoys would be impressive. But Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One,  Saviour of the Wizarding World, AND  Auror -in-training would make an even bigger statement to what remained of the Ministry . He may never understand politics, but he knew enough to know that being an  Auror -in-training standing up for two accused Death Eaters would send a powerful message. 

And if Harry stopped to think about it, what would he do instead? Clearly it was what everyone was expecting of him. Become an Auror, spend his life doing exactly what he had been doing for the last seven years. He hadn’t been keen on the idea of going back to school. It would be too hard after the last year to settle back into the routine of Hogwarts. And while the castle would always be his first home, it didn’t feel like that now. Now it felt like a battleground. He could still feel the ache all over his body from that night. He could still hear the screams and explosions. His home was too haunted now. They both had too many ghosts to  co-exist .

Hermione was right too. The best way to change how things were at the Ministry was to do it from the inside. And Harry did like helping people. Voldemort had said it was his greatest weakness. Dumbledore had said it was a strength. Maybe now it could just be his job. That was what adults did. Harry couldn’t just sit around doing nothing. He would go barmy. And after the disaster that  had  been horcrux hunting with his best friends, they could probably all do with some time apart. Ron and Hermione would go back to Hogwarts. Harry would head off to London. And Draco would be away in France. 

The sudden thought that he would alone was a terrifying one. How would he be, living alone and going to work every day? Would he be able to sleep without Draco beside him? Would he be able to focus on his work and get things done without Hermione there to help him? Would he be able to find the humor in everyday life without Ron to laugh with? He would have to find out eventually. Why bother putting it off longer than necessary? 

“’Arry?” Draco’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. He took a deep breath and wiped the remaining wetness from his face with his shirt. “What’re you doing?” 

“Just...couldn’t sleep.” Harry managed. He stood from the chair and walked back over to the bed. Draco immediately held his arms out for him and Harry’s chest felt too tight at the gesture. 

“You okay?” Draco was always beautiful. But he was very rarely adorable. However, when he’s just woken up and his posh git side hasn’t had time to manifest, he really  was adorable. 

“Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.” Harry let himself be pulled into his embrace. He sighed as Draco gently took his face in his hands. 

“You’ve been crying again.” He brushed his thumbs over Harry’s cheeks. “What is it, darling?” Harry wriggled out of his hands and instead pushed his forehead against Draco’s collarbone. 

“It’s nothing. Just left over from earlier.” Harry pressed a kiss  to  his neck. Draco threaded his fingers in his hair but tugged him back. 

“Don’t try to distract me.  You’re upset and I want to know why.” 

“You sure that’s what you want?” Harry ducked back in to press his lips to Draco’s. The move caused the slender fingers in his hair to pull and Harry groaned into the kiss. “You sure that you wouldn’t be far more interested in something else?” 

“Of course, I’m sure.” Draco didn’t sound very sure and Harry smirked. He pushed Draco onto his back on the bed and straddled his hips. 

“Try again. With a little more enthusiasm.” He leaned down and kissed him again. Harry gently pushed his tongue into Draco’s mouth as his hands slid under his shirt. He tweaked his nipples and Draco gasped. Harry pulled Draco’s shirt up and over his head before doing the same with his own. “Tell me what you want, Draco.” 

“I--” Draco broke off with a moan when Harry rolled his hips against his. “Fuck.” He gripped Harry’s hips tightly. “I want...I want you.” 

“You’ve got me, gorgeous.” Harry smiled. “But what are you going to do with me?” He tossed  Draco’s taunt from yesterday back at him and smirked when Draco huffed. 

“You were not this cocky yesterday.” His voice was tight as he squeezed Harry’s hips. 

“Well, while you were sleeping peacefully, I had time to think about all the things I wanted to do to you.” 

“Oh?” Draco was trying for  detached interest but Harry knew better. “And what did you come up with?” 

“To be honest, not much.” Harry bit his lip and Draco started laughing. 

“There is the prudish little Gryffindor I know and love.” His smile slowly faded as what he had just said sunk in. Harry leaned back to look at him.

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Draco shook his head. “Obviously, what I. ..what I meant to say was that...in an abstract sort of way. I love...that about you. Not that I love you.” Draco grimaced and Harry tensed. “Which is not to say that I don’t love you. I mean, obviously it’s a bit soon for declarations of love or anything but...I don’t. Love you.” 

“ Er , thanks, I guess?” Harry was terribly confused. Draco was right, of course. It was way too soon for either of them to be talking about love. He should be relieved at the terrible backtracking Draco attempted. Instead, it felt like ice was running down his spine.  _ Obviously. _ It must have shown on his face because Draco surged up to be face to face with him.  He pulled  Harry into a passionate kiss and tangled his fingers in his hair. He sucked Harry’s tongue into his mouth and tightened his grip on his hair. Draco’s nails scraped against his scalp and Harry hissed. 

“ I do love your stupid  Gryffindorness . I love that about you.” 

“Okay.” Harry closed the distance and kissed him again. The ice had thawed along his spine but the icy feeling settled at the base. Still, this wasn’t what Harry was interested in at the moment. And once again, he needed to distract Draco from an uncomfortable conversation. He pulled back from the kiss and started trailing down his neck. Harry bit down on his collarbone again and sucked. Draco bucked his hips and Harry smirked against his skin. 

“What...what did you come up with in your musings?” 

“I think it might be better to show you.” Harry pushed him back down and rolled his hips again. Fuck but he loved the feeling of Draco’s hard cock against his own. Harry leaned down and continued his trail down his neck to his chest. 

Harry licked one hard, pink nipple and Draco groaned. He closed his mouth over it and sucked, scraping his teeth over it gently. Draco hissed and tangled his fingers in his hair again. Harry continued his torture until Draco pulled his hair roughly, guiding him to his other nipple. 

“Fuck...” Harry groaned and pressed his forehead against Draco’s chest. There was a brief pause before Draco pulled his hair again and Harry bucked his hips. 

“You like that do you?” Draco sounded smug and he couldn’t let that last too long. 

“Yeah.” He was surprised by the breathless quality of his voice. Any retort that Draco had was lost on his tongue when Harry scraped his teeth over Draco’s other nipple. He sucked on it just as he had the other one before he bit down. Draco jerked underneath him. Harry moved further down to his abdomen. He licked a stripe over Draco’s taut stomach. Harry settled himself between Draco’s thighs and glanced up at him. 

Harry hooked his fingers into the waistband of Draco’s bottoms and tugged them down, never breaking eye contact. In the dim light of the room, he could see that his pupils were blown and he was watching Harry with wide, disbelieving eyes. Harry only got his bottoms to his knees before he gave up. It was hard to focus on anything now with Draco’s gorgeous cock right in front of his face. 

He leaned forward and tentatively licked his cock from base to tip. Draco gasped harshly and bucked his hips up. Harry put his hands on his hips and pressed them down into the mattress. It wouldn’t do to have Draco choke him during the proceedings. Harry took the head of his cock into his mouth and sucked. The taste was strange but also somewhat familiar. Draco’s cock didn’t taste much different than the rest of his body. 

Harry slowly took more of Draco’s cock into his mouth. Above him, Draco moaned and thrashed his head from side to side. He buried his fingers in Harry’s hair and pulled. Harry moaned around his cock. The vibrations of which prompted a broken whimper to leave Draco’s lips. He glanced up at Draco as he carefully slid his lips up and down his cock. 

And he was proven wrong again. The way Draco looked now was a far better image than the one he made yesterday. This time, Draco was almost completely naked and he was staring at Harry like he couldn’t believe he existed. His face, neck, and chest were flushed and he was panting heavily. This was the hottest thing that Harry had ever seen. Had ever done. For a brief moment, his thoughts were drawn to his own throbbing prick. But only a moment. 

The weight of Draco’s cock on his tongue and the taste of him in his mouth was like a revelation. He was surprised at just how much he enjoyed it. The idea of sucking Draco’s cock had occurred to him at some point in the last week or so. And Harry had been shocked at how much the idea turned him on. Especially considering for most of his teenage years, he had only ever fantasized about being on the receiving end. But the sounds that Draco was making had his own cock twitching and leaking  precome in earnest. 

“Fuck, Harry...” Draco threw his head back with a loud moan. Harry pulled back slightly to suck on the head again and tongue the slit. “Harry...” His tone had a warning in it this time but Harry had always ignored warnings. Why stop now? He started bobbing his head up and down, running his tongue along the vein on the underside of Draco’s prick. And then Draco’s grip tightened in his hair. Harry moaned around his cock again and Draco came in his mouth with a shout. 

Harry pulled back but managed to swallow. He coughed at the bitter, salty taste and the strange consistency. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world but he could understand why some people wouldn’t like it. Draco was panting as he weakly tried to pull Harry up. Harry laughed softly and allowed himself to be brought up. Draco kissed him and it was messy and Harry could still taste Draco’s come in his mouth but it was the best kiss they had shared yet. 

“Merlin, that was amazing.” Draco stroked his hair and he rested his head against his chest. 

“Yeah?” 

“Bloody brilliant, darling. A bit unexpected though.” 

“Why unexpected?” 

“Just...before yesterday you seemed content to just rub up against each other and come in your pants.” Harry made a face at him and Draco laughed. “I’m not complaining, mind you. It was a marvelous turn of events.” 

“Good.” Harry closed his eyes. He moaned and his eyes shot back open when Draco groped his still hard cock through his bottoms. 

“Now, what to do with you.” Draco murmured. He pulled his hand back only to slide it under the waistband of Harry’s pants and stroke his throbbing prick. Harry hissed and jerked his hips into the touch. Draco chuckled. “Bit sensitive?” 

“Just a bit.” Harry managed through grit teeth. 

“You want my mouth on you, Harry?” Draco whispered against his ear. “You want to feel what it’s like?” 

“I don’t care what you do...” Harry broke off with a whine. “Just do it.” 

“My, we are bossy when we’re turned on, aren’t we?” 

“Just want you to make me come, Draco.” Harry bucked his hips and Draco rolled them to put Harry underneath. 

“What else have you thought about, hmmm?” Draco pulled his hand away and Harry cried out at the loss. “When you can’t sleep in the middle of the night. What have you thought about doing with me?” 

“Fuck, Draco, please, just...” Harry bucked his hips again and Draco sat back on his thighs. 

“Tell me what you want to do with me, darling, and I’ll be happy to take care of you.” Draco pressed open mouthed kisses to his neck and chest. 

“I. ..I’ve thought about getting down on my knees to suck your cock. I really like when you pull on my hair.” 

“ Mmmm ...I’ve noticed. What else?” Harry groaned. His face felt hot with embarrassment but he had just had Draco’s prick in his mouth and swallowed his come. 

“I thought about...about you shagging me.” He felt Draco shiver. “Properly fucking me. Bent over the desk in th at classroom where we first snogged. Your hand in my hair and your cock in my  arse . I’ve wondered how it would feel.” 

“Well, you have been holding out on me, Potter.” Draco sounded strained again. “Who knew you had such a mouth on you. Or such an imagination.” 

“You asked.” 

“ So I did.”  He smirked down at Harry.  “Who knew that lurking behind that Gryffindor façade there was such a filthy mind.” 

“Draco, please...” Harry whined. “Please... wanna come...”

“I did say I would take care of you.” Draco moved slowly down his body and hesitantly took the tip of his prick into his mouth. Harry cried out and did his best to stay still. The hot wetness of Draco’s mouth on him was almost overwhelming. Almost too good. His brain was no longer functioning at any higher level. All he could think was  _ Draco, Draco, Draco. _ A bit belatedly, he realized he was saying it out loud. Draco sucked his cock further into his mouth before he pulled off. Harry made a  high-pitched whining noise. 

“ Shhhh ...I’ve got you, baby.” Draco ran a soothing hand down his side. “Put that mouth to good use again for me.” He pressed his forefinger and middle finger against Harry’s lips. “Suck.” Harry gave a full body shudder at the command. He sucked Draco’s fingers into his mouth. Harry swirled his tongue around the pads of his fingers and sucked, pulling them further into his mouth. Draco pulled away again and moved back down. 

He took Harry’s cock back into his mouth and Harry dropped his head back. He was sure that he had been hard for ages at this point. Just as he was getting lost in the feeling of Draco’s mouth on him, he felt a finger press against his rim. Harry jerked, his eyes going wide. Draco used his other hand to rub soothing circles on his thigh. He glanced up at Harry as best he could with his mouth full of his cock and Harry relaxed. 

Draco pushed his finger into Harry and he would have grimaced at the feeling. But the mouth on his prick helped to distract from the discomfort at the strange feeling. Draco was thrusting his finger in and out gently in time with his mouth. He crooked his finger just right and Harry had no time to warn Draco much less himself. 

“Draco!” Harry came with a surprised shout. His whole body went taut like a bow-string before going completely limp. Draco pulled back and gave him a lascivious grin. He laid down next to him  and  pulled Harry in close. They lay there, trying to catch their breath for several minutes. The only sound in the room was their harsh breathing. 

“Close your eyes.” Draco whispered softly. Harry rested his head on his chest again and sighed. “I’ve got you, darling. Go to sleep.” He started stroking his hair gently and Harry closed his eyes. Maybe just for a little bit... 

Harry sighed as he was pulled back to consciousness. He slowly blinked his eyes open and took in the room. The fire had died at some point and he was fairly certain it was morning. Draco was still asleep beside him. Harry looked down at him and wanted to reach out and touch him. But he knew Draco needed the sleep as much as he did. 

Slowly and carefully, Harry climbed out of the bed. He should go down to the owlery before anyone had a chance to talk him out of this. They would still try regardless but still. He really did not want to argue about this. Just grin and bear it. Harry pulled on his clothes as quietly as he could. Just as he was thinking that he needed some parchment and quills, a desk appeared on the far side of the wall. He loved this room. 

_ Auror _ _ Shacklebolt,  _

_ Thank you so much for your offer. Of course, I would be happy to accept. I appreciate this opportunity and your confidence in my abilities. I look forward to your owl with the details.  _

_ Harry Potter  _

That was as good as it was going to get. Harry was rubbish at formal letters. He had spent too much time writing bizarrely coded letters to Sirius. Or Snuffles as he sometimes was. The old nickname made him grin and for the thousandth time he wished his godfather was here. And what would Sirius have to say about Harry quitting school and running off to join the  Aurors ? Probably an immense amount of pride. 

Harry shook his head and picked up his short letter to Kingsley. His mother would have most likely been the only voice of reason in his life. James and Sirius, even Remus to an extent, had a tendency towards reckless behavior. If he tried, Harry could almost imagine the conversation between them all. James and Sirius would start out thrilled and proud of his terrible life choices. And then Lily and Remus would scold them. And they would reluctantly admonish Harry. All four of them would then insist that Harry finish school first. 

Well, they were dead. What did they know? Not enough to keep themselves alive. No. His parents had stupidly put their faith and trust in the wrong person. Sirius hadn’t listened to Dumbledore and had rushed in to rescue Harry. Remus had...Remus hadn’t just stayed home with his wife and son. He had no business being at Hogwarts that night. And neither did Tonks. Between the four of them, they had orphaned two children. Three if you counted Regulus. And sometimes Harry did. 

On the other side of the parental spectrum though, was Molly Weasley. She had a tendency to hold on too tight. And her children hid things from her and lied to her as a result. But her and Arthur were still alive. And all but one of their children had survived the war. He supposed that was a better track record than his parents and parental figures. In the end, it didn’t matter. He was seventeen going on eighteen. Harry was considered an adult in the Wizarding world and almost in the Muggle world. And he could do what he wanted with his life. That he wasn’t certain this was what he wanted to do didn’t cross his mind. 

Draco was still asleep and Harry wrote out a quick note for him. If their roles were reversed, and Harry woke to find Draco gone, he would panic. Best to try and head off any unnecessary panic on everyone’s part.  _ Went for a walk. Meet you in the Great Hall for breakfast. _ He set the note on his pillow and took one last look at a peaceful, sleeping Draco before he set off into the castle. 

And almost tripped over Ron Weasley. 

“Bloody hell!” Ron shouted before he caught sight of Harry. “Oh. You’re up early.” 

“Yeah...haven’t been sleeping well.” Ron stood up and dusted himself off. “What are you doing here?” 

“I feel awful about yesterday. And I wanted to apologize. I figured you were here. Or the dungeons. That was  gonna be my next stop.” Ron took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Harry.” 

“Which part are you sorry about exactly?” Harry started down the hall. He had other business to attend to. Ron hurried behind him and Harry thought maybe he was thankful for the excuse to move. Ron liked to fidget when having to apologize or have any kind of meaningful conversation. 

“All of it?” He tried. “Definitely the part where I called you...well...what I called you.” 

“The part where you called me a slag?” 

“Yeah. That bit.” Ron had the decency to sound embarrassed. “That was totally uncalled for. Obviously. And uh...”

“And?” Harry was going to make him earn it. Ron had said some terrible things yesterday and he didn’t plan to let his best mate off that easily. 

“We all worry about you, Harry. And I just...I mean...we’re all pretty...pretty messed up  right now. I thought maybe...maybe Malfoy was taking advantage of you.” 

“I’m a big boy, Ron. Can tie my own trainers and everything.” 

“I know that! But after everything...” He trailed off. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for being a total prat yesterday. Hermione told me that she and Malfoy had talked and that Malfoy seemed to...to actually care about you.”

“That’s what he says.” 

“And. ..he treats you right and everything?” 

“Merlin’s sake, Ron.” Harry trailed off and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he treats me fine. We’re not even...we aren’t anything official anyway.”

“Seriously? You guys have practically been joined at the hip for the last two weeks. Including sleeping in the same bed.” 

“I thought this was supposed to be an apology.” Harry bit down on the reply that he had wanted to give. That he just slept so much better with Draco next to him. 

“Right. You’re right. Sorry. Look, I trust you with my life, Harry. And. ..if you say that Malfoy is a good guy and that he’s worth it then...I believe you.” 

“Thanks, Ron.” He didn’t mention how relieved he was to hear him say that. 

“’Course.” Ron shrugged and they both stopped, not looking at each other. “Anyway, what are we doing in the owlery?” 

“Well, I thought maybe this  would  be the best place to hide your body. The owls should eat it. No body, no crime.” Harry shrugged as he took the letter out of his pocket and called down one of the school owls. 

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” Ron leaned against the doorframe. “But it might take them awhile to eat my whole body.” 

“Damn. You’re right.” Harry tied the letter to  it’s leg and it took off. 

“Who are you writing to? Everyone  you’re friends with is here.” Ron narrowed his eyes. “...You’re taking Kingsley’s offer, aren’t you?” 

“I might be.” Harry turned and started back to the castle. 

“Mum is  gonna kill you. And Hermione. Hell, Malfoy seemed pretty against it, too.”

“Yeah, well, Draco is going to France so he doesn’t  have  room to talk.” 

“You’re  gonna join the  Aurors cuz Malfoy’s going to France?” 

“No. I’m joining the  Aurors because Kingsley  Shacklebolt asked me to. And...” Harry hesitated as they made their way into the Great Hall. “I can’t come back here.” 

“Mate, you can  do  whatever you want. You literally died to save all of our sorry arses. You’ve earned it.” Ron clapped a hand on his shoulder. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I know.” Harry rolled his eyes and shoved Ron playfully away. Hermione was sitting at the old Gryffindor table already. Ginny and Molly were sitting with her but there was a distinct lack of Weasley’s this morning. 

“Where is everyone?” Harry glanced at Ron. 

“Ah, back to work. Kingsley begged Dad and Perce to come back to the Ministry and help out with that mess. Bill’s services were required by Gringotts and the Ministry. Charlie said he had already been away too long. And George went back to the shop.” 

“Right. Guess that makes sense.” Harry walked over to the table and dropped down next to Hermione. Ron sat on her other side. 

“Did you two kiss and make up then?” Ginny raised an eyebrow. 

“Ron’s not really my type.” 

“Hey!” Ron had a hard time sounding indignant with his mouth already full of sausage. 

“Where is Draco?” Hermione glanced around. 

“He was still sleeping. I didn’t  wanna wake him.” Harry shrugged and took a drink of pumpkin juice. Molly had a tight look on her face and he couldn’t quite figure out why. Ginny caught his eye. ‘Sex’ was all she mouthed at him and Harry nodded. Right. Mums probably aren’t crazy about their kids having sex. Or sharing beds. 

Several owls swooped into the Great Hall. Harry was a little surprised that owl post was still coming in. But then, everyone seemed to be clinging to any semblance of normalcy. What really surprised him was an owl dropping a letter in front of him. Kingsley couldn’t have possibly received his reply yet. He picked it up and saw that it wasn’t actually addressed to him. It was addressed to Narcissa and Draco Malfoy  care of  Harry Potter. Harry thought about opening the letter but decided it would be better to have Draco open it. 

“What do you reckon that is?” Ron asked and gestured at the letter with his fork. Harry shrugged and set it down on the table. 

“ Dunno . Not actually addressed to me.” Harry took a piece of bacon to nibble on. 

“I suppose it may be their summons.” Hermione offered and they turned to her. “For their trial. From the  Wizengamot .” Oh. Right. Harry had still been thinking of the trials and everything as an abstract idea. Something to get ready for but far away. He isn’t ready. Hermione squeezed his hand. “It’ll be fine.” 

“I know.” Harry nodded and he knew that he was trying to convince himself as much as Hermione that he was okay. Harry wanted to testify for Draco and Narcissa. They deserved at least that much. But he knew he would be asked to speak at more than just their trial. He would likely be asked to speak at nearly every trial. And that sounded almost more daunting than his last impossible task. He was brought out of his reverie by soft lips on his cheek. 

“You slipped out early this morning.” Draco sat down next to him. “Couldn’t sleep again?” 

“I slept fine. I just didn’t want to wake you.” Harry gave him a smile and was relieved that it was genuine. The thought of Draco asleep in bed this morning made him feel all warm and soppy inside. 

“If you say so.” Draco didn’t sound convinced. Maybe he remembered their abandoned conversation in the middle of the night. 

“This came for you.” Harry handed him the letter. Draco frowned and looked up at him. 

“Who sent it?” 

“ Dunno .” Harry shrugged. Draco’s frown deepened. He carefully opened the envelope and pulled two pieces of parchment out. His eyes scanned quickly over the first one and by the time he reached the end of the letter, he was practically glowering at it. 

“It’s for our trial date.” Draco sighed and dropped the parchment on the table. Harry reached over and took his hand. This was not about Harry. Not right now. This was about Draco.

“It’s going to be fine, Draco.” Harry squeezed his hand. “I’ll be right there with you. I won’t let them toss you or your mum in Azkaban.” 

“I would be happy to testify on your behalf as well.” Hermione spoke up. She patted their joined hands. “You’re not an evil person, Draco. Perhaps Luna would testify as well. She told me how you tried your best to help her and Dean and  Ollivander .” 

“I don’t want to drag more people into this than is strictly necessary.” Draco took a deep breath. “I appreciate your offer, Hermione.” He glanced at Harry. “I should go find Mother and let her know.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?”  Draco looked up at him and his brow furrowed. 

“...If you would like.” He gripped  Harry’s hand tighter as he stood from the table. Harry grabbed the parchment and they set off for the dungeons to find Narcissa. 

“I’m right here, Draco. I promise. It’s going to be okay.” Harry was tugged back when Draco stopped in the Entrance Hall. “Draco?” 

“What if it isn’t? What if you can’t help us and we end up there anyway?” Draco looked down at the ground and the fear in his voice hurt Harry more than any  Cruciatus might have. Harry moved in front of him and took his face in his hands. 

“Draco...look at me, honey.” Draco dragged his eyes up to meet Harry’s. “I won’t let them. I don’t care what I have to do. You are a good person who had to deal with difficult circumstances. And your mum was just trying to protect you and keep you safe. If they start throwing people in Azkaban for that then I swear to Merlin I will start another damn revolution and overthrow the whole fucking Ministry.” 

“...Harry...I’m not worth it. I’m not worth all that.” 

“Stop. Of course, you are.” Harry gently stroked those sharp cheekbones and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “You are worth all the trouble. You always have been.” He pressed his forehead to Draco’s. “I am doing everything I can to make sure those sons of bitches listen to me and realize what I already know about you.” 

“And what is that?” Draco raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. 

“That you are a beautiful person. Inside and out.” Harry dropped his hands from his face but gripped Draco’s hand tightly. “Come on.” They started again for the dungeons. 

If anyone could understand that one is more than the sum of their family, it was Harry. While his parents may have been kind and good people, the Dursleys had been anything but. And somehow Harry had turned all right. ...Well, mostly all right. He hadn’t turned out like a total prat at the very least. But that had been in large part due to Harry hating his family. Draco had loved his parents. He had trusted his parents. And he had still managed to come to his senses and decide to be better. 

Harry shivered slightly as they walked into the dungeons. He hadn’t been back down here since the aftermath of the battle. Draco squeezed his hand and Harry returned it. It would be okay. He would make sure. 

“Mother?” Draco called as they stepped into the Slytherin common room. Harry glanced around and saw too many familiar faces. Some of just his old classmates. But some he knew from the graveyard. Or the Department of Mysteries. Or their covert mission into the Ministry. This isn’t about him. Relax. Harry took a deep breath and moved further into the room with Draco. Narcissa was seated in an armchair beside the lake. 

“Good morning, Draco. Mr. Potter.” She inclined her head towards Harry and closed her book. She turned to her son. “What is it, sweetheart?” 

“These came for us today.” Draco sat in the chair opposite his mother and handed her the pieces of parchment. Harry awkwardly stood behind Draco’s chair. They sat in silence as Narcissa read over them. Her lips were pursed and it briefly reminded Harry of his aunt. 

“Well, we were expecting this.” Narcissa finally responded and folded the parchment back up. “Please do not worry too terribly much, Draco. I am confident that there is little to nothing that they  can  do to you.” 

“And what about you? I can’t bear to see you go to Azkaban, Mother.” Draco reached over and took her hands in his. She smiled at him and any resemblance she had to Petunia vanished in that moment. 

“Unfortunately, your father and I are adults and knew precisely what we were doing. If there are to be consequences for our actions, I will accept that.” She lifted their intertwined hands and kissed Draco’s knuckles. 

“Well I do not accept that.” His voice wavered and Harry squeezed his shoulder. 

“Mrs. Malfoy, I promise--” 

“Please, Harry, call me Narcissa.” 

“...Narcissa, I promise that I am doing everything that I can to keep both you and Draco out of prison. You never personally took the Dark Mark and there is ample evidence that both of you were threatened with torture and death if you went against Voldemort.” She and Draco flinched. “If...if it were me...if my mum was in danger and I could save her...I’d do anything.” 

“Harry...” Draco tilted his head back to look at him but Harry just shook his head. This was not about him. Draco and Mrs. Mal—Narcissa needed him. 

“I am afraid that the only thing that you can do for us, Harry, is to provide your testimony. The  Wizengamot does not want to hear your suspicions.” 

“I have more than suspicions, Mrs. Malfoy. I saw it.” Harry steadfastly ignored the look on both of their faces. “And I. ..I decided to accept  Auror Shacklebolt’s offer to join the  Auror program.” This time Draco whipped  around; his mouth parted in  surprise but his eyes narrowed. 

“You did what?” 

“I wrote to him this morning.” Harry shrugged. “And before you get all up in arms, I thought about it. It’ll send a message to the  Wizengamot , the  Aurors , the Ministry, and the public if not just Harry Potter but  Auror -in-Training Harry Potter speaks in your defense.” 

“You told me that you did not want to do that anymore.” Draco stood from the chair. “You said that you had enough of dark wizards.” 

“I know what I said, Draco.” Harry sighed. “But this is...this is where I can do the most good.” 

“The most good for who?” 

“For you!” The silence in common room was deafening. Draco stared at him with wide eyes, Narcissa looked as though she were trying not to smile, and several classmates stared at them. Harry breathed out harshly. “I’ve never been good with politics. And Merlin knows I didn’t particularly make friends last time I was in the  Wizengamot chambers. But I feel like this will send a message.” 

“Harry...” Narcissa hesitated as she glanced at her son. “I agree that  your new position will send a rather strong message to the remainder of the  Wizengamot . As I am sure you know, the Ministry are predisposed to their own. Especially their own that will make them look good. They will have lost the trust and confidence in a large part of the community. They will want to be in your good graces. And they will want to have you working for them to convince the wizarding community of the UK that they are the good guys.” 

“Mother, you cannot be encouraging this...this ridiculous idea.” Draco was looking between his mother and Harry. 

“Draco, Harry is of age. He is an adult and appears to have made his decision.” Narcissa looked at her son and gave him a gentle smile. “He has made it this far without getting himself killed. I am sure the  Aurors will take good care of him.” Harry winced slightly. That wasn’t entirely true of course but he wasn’t about to get into that with Narcissa. Not when she was siding with him. 

“Harry, can I speak with you in  private?” Draco’s voice was strained and Harry sighed. This wouldn’t be good. 

“’Course.” Harry shrugged, trying to keep an even tone. Draco grabbed his hand and practically dragged him back out of the common room. He pulled Harry to the old classroom where they had first fallen together and shoved him inside. 

“Harry, what the hell?” Draco shouted as he slammed the door shut. Harry flinched but hoped that the darkness of the room hid his reaction. Draco muttered a Lumos and the room lit up as the sconces burned. “If you are so incredibly stupid as to join the bloody  Aurors just to keep my mother and me out of Azkaban, so help me Merlin...” 

“Don’t be so dramatic, Draco.” Harry crossed his arms and leaned against the desk at the front of the classroom. 

“It’s what I do best.” Draco stalked over to him and pried his arms away from his chest. “What is this about?” 

“It just makes sense.” Harry shrugged and looked down at where Draco laced their fingers together. “This is what I’ve been doing for seven years. What else can I do?” 

“Harry, darling, you can do anything that you want.” Draco brought their hands to his side and pressed closer to  him, chest to chest. “I don’t want you to make yourself miserable just so Mother and I can run away to France.” 

“That’s not...” Harry sighed. “That’s not the only reason.” He finally lifted his gaze to Draco. “The best way to bring about  change is from  within . And the Ministry needs a lot of change. I can help. And...” Harry stopped. He couldn’t tell Draco that much. He couldn’t admit that part of the reason he was doing this was because it was what people expected of him. And he didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Because if Harry told him that, he would disappoint Draco. 

“And?” Draco prompted. Harry shook his head. 

“Maybe I won’t do it forever but it’ll be something while I try to figure out what I do want.” Harry shrugged. It wasn’t entirely true but it also wasn’t entirely a lie. Draco sighed. 

“If you’re really sure that this is what you want. At the moment.” He pressed his forehead against Harry’s. “I don’t suppose I have room to judge.” They stood like that in silence for several minutes. H arry squeezed his eyes shut.

“...I don’t want you to go...” H e whispered. The grip on his hands tightened to the point that he had to fight not to wince. 

“Please don’t.” Draco responded and pulled back. “You know that I can’t stay.” 

“You could. You could stay here. With me.” 

“Harry...” Draco attempted to step back again but Harry dropped his hands to grip his waist. He opened his eyes and Draco stared at him. 

“Maybe it won’t be so bad. After the trials. Maybe people will--” 

“You know that people will hear Malfoy and think Death Eater.” His tone was harsh and Harry almost recoiled. “People will hear Malfoy and see my father. I can’t stay here and move on. I need to go out and become my own person.” 

“And you can’t do that here? With me? You need to move to move on?” 

“I am not going to stay here and be the  Saviour’s chosen pet!” Harry did recoil this time. His hands dropped away from Draco’s hips and h e hit the desk. Draco looked stricken and he reached out for Harry. He flinched back. “Harry...I...” 

“Is that  really  what you think?” 

“...That’s what  everyone else will see.” Draco dropped his hands to his side. “Anything I did, anywhere I went, it would be because I was with you. Instead of coasting by because of my father, I would get my way because of  you. And I won’t do that. Not again.” 

“You know that’s not true.” Harry shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“It already is, Harry. Tell me again why you decided to join the  Aurors .” Draco looked and sounded as cold as the day they had met on the train all those years ago. 

“Well what the fuck do you want me to do?” Harry hated the way his voice cracked even as he shouted. “Tell me, Draco, I’ll do it! You want me to owl  Kinglsey and tell him I take it all back? You want me to go off to France with you? You want me to stay in school? You want me to disappear to the woods? Tell me what I should do. I’ll do it.” He was shaking and hadn’t even realized that he had backed into the wall until it hit his back. 

“I want you to calm down.” Draco answered. He didn’t move closer to Harry but some of the venom had drained from his voice. “You’re being irrational and I can’t talk to you like this.” 

“Then don’t fucking talk to me.” Harry hissed. It felt like his whole body was shaking apart and a small voice in the back of his mind, a voice that sounded obnoxiously like Hermione, agreed with Draco. He was over-reacting. He was being irrational. But he couldn’t stop. Harry slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. What was wrong with him? 

Harry moved his hands into his hair and tugged on it as he buried his head between his knees. He knew that he was lashing out at Draco. But why? Because he was leaving. Draco was going to walk away and start a new life in France. A life without Harry. Specifically, a life without Harry. And what difference did it make? They had only just become friends. Friends that  sometimes had sex. Who was Draco to Harry? What was Harry to Draco? A stop over? A fill in? A means to an end? 

“Harry?” Draco sounded too close and far away at the same time. Almost as if he were under  water. But which of them was drowning? Probably Harry. 

“Don’t.” He tried to move back but the wall wouldn’t allow it. Harry didn’t want comfort. He didn’t deserve it. He was acting like a lunatic but knowing his behavior was out of line wasn’t helping him to stop.  “Just...leave me alone. I’ll be fine.” 

“I rather beg to differ.” Harry felt fingers in his hair and he jerked away from the touch. Draco sighed. There was a warmth pressed against his side and Harry assumed that Draco was sat beside him now. “I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean what I said. About...being your pet. I know that isn’t how it would be. If I stayed. But I do know that everyone out there would see it that way.” He paused. “I suppose there are worse things for people to think about me. Especially now. But I need to strike out on my own. It isn’t that I want to get away from you. Or leave my home. It just, doesn’t feel like home. Not anymore. Not now.” 

Harry could understand that much at least. Hogwarts didn’t feel like home now. It still felt like a battleground. Even after all of the repairs that they had worked tirelessly on for the last few weeks. There were still pieces of rubble scattered around the castle. The Forbidden Forest was still missing swathes of dark green. Hagrid’s hut was still a pile of rocks and burned wood. And that was only the scars that were visible. The castle had felt off ever since. Much like Harry had. And he imagined that Malfoy Manor only felt worse. 

“’M sorry.” Harry finally mumbled into his knees. “I don’t...I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

“Apology accepted.” Draco brushed his fingers through his hair again. “And I cannot possibly imagine what could be going on with you, Harry. Honestly, it’s not as though you died or anything.” Harry huffed out a laugh and turned his head to see Draco. He gave Harry a small smile. “Come here.” 

Harry hesitated to move until Draco held his arms out. He felt some of the tension bleed from his body as he moved to sit in Draco’s lap. Draco wrapped his arms around him and tucked his head under his chin. Slowly, Draco started to rock side to side while he carded his fingers through his hair. 

“It will all be all right, darling. I promise.” Draco kissed the top of his head. Harry wasn’t sure if he believed that. But he wanted to. He wanted desperately for everything to be all right. For everything to go back to some semblance of normal. What had normal ever looked like for him though? A power hungry, megalomaniac who tried to kill him approximately ten times. A family that hated and feared him and treated him like he was less than. An education fraught with life-threatening dangers interfering with his studies. Harry sighed. After all of that, training to be an  Auror while he finished his NEWTs without his friends or family should be nothing. Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are life y'all!


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